Yesterday, the 8th of June was very sunny. For sun lovers, it was the perfect day to go to the sea side or outdoors. The local Asda was parked to the brim, Sainsbury's was the same. There was no place to park and even though it was a Sunday, the Eastern European car wash attendants were out in full force to get you to wash your car. This time last year, it was hard to buy ice cube packs, thankfully, the shops had not run out by the time we got there. Opposite Asda's was a park with rides for the local kids. Being a Sunday, one could spot the Africans in their traditional attire either going to church or coming back from church. The four churches in the Square must have enjoyed strong numbers the exception being the Methodist Church with the poorest attendance.
It was the perfect day for barbeques and outdoor activities. Not to be left out, I took my daughter to the park; not the one next to ASDA, but the one down stairs opposite our house. We have been going to the park ever since she was a baby. Femi had one reason why we had to go to the park: she wanted to show off her new bicycle. Interestingly enough, she was not the only one with one. There were at least six other kids with bicycles so she did not get the desired immediate effect. Having said that though, over the course of the afternoon, her purple bicycle was complimented several times.
We were not the first to get to the park, others had beaten us to it. Tara was there with her new baby. Whilst we talked, breast feeding Luke, she counted four other kids that were hers. She is not going back to work anytime soon. Her babies are a year apart with the eldest being three years old. It turned out that the other two kids were her step children. She seemed too fragile and delicate looking after five children. At some point in the afternoon, one of her little kids ran off with a ball into the main road. It was a miracle that averted what would have been a nasty accident. Motherhood comes with a price and which is rewarded by little things your kids say to you or the new friends you make which you otherwise would not have made if you were not blessed by God with your kids.
I had not met Kenya before. She was not new to the area, we just had not met. When women meet together in the park, they talk about all sorts of issues: from their partners to money issues and whatever else that is bothering them. We women, our issues are similar. We all need more money, more love, more attention and more independence. Kenya is a mixed breed of African and Indian. Very soft spoken, she revealed that she was a single mum of two. She pointed out her two children: Damon and Latanya. She still wore her wedding band as she explained that her husband had been an abuser. I didn't want to hear the sordid details and thankfully, she wasn't willing to tell. Her youngest daughter was just two. Her husband still supported her as she was going to school to get a nursing degree. Nick's mum is Olivia who is from Poland. With poor English, she explained that Nick was her son from a previous relationship. The baby in the push chair was Amanda and she was married to the dad. She was also in an Access to Nursing Diploma course. Her car was the loud one which woke us all up at 630am when her husband jump started it for her. We all laughed. We knew the car.
What could have united four women from different back grounds, families, stories, life styles? We couldn't possibly be any more different but we were the same. We wanted more for ourselves, our children, happier relationships with our partners and possibly more for our kids and ourselves. We are women and we are biologically connected.
As we sat talking, a dad came with his two children and a radio set and his wife (presumably) carried with her a disposable BBQ set. They ignored us all and just set along doing their own thing. After a while though, the kids all started to play together and their parents had to say hello.
Another couple had also come in to the sun. They were lying down on the grass, wearing sun glasses and facing the sun. The lady was in her bikini and the man was topless. They laid down oblivious to the screams of the children, the sound of the radio and to everybody really. Two more girls joined them. The day would not have been perfect without them.
The next set of people who came by the park were the older children. They didn't bother us. They sat in a corner of the field with their cans of beer. Ginger? It would have been beer anyway. When they were not drinking, they were passing a ball around and a skinny girl dressed for the sun was chasing the ball around. The lads were laughing. It was a pitiful sight. We all shook our heads. Before long, we know she would be pregnant, pushing a buggy.
After a while, a W-Reg Mercedes Benz with loud music drove around the block, possibly looking for attention but his noise was over shadowed by the ice cream van who was even louder. The kids raced to the ice cream van and their parents too. The sun tanners and the big kids also joined in. The ice cream man made some good money.
There was a scream. It came from the nearby woodlands. I was the only one without much in my hands and as such was the first one to get there. Leslie had climbed on a tree and could not get down. By this time, all the parents had come to where I was, looking to help get Leslie down. The park was surrounded by woodland on the rear. The recent rain had made the trees more dense and the woods an unsafe place to play as you could no longer see through it. Leslie was brought down by an able parent and we all cheered. It was a brilliant time to warn the other kids not to go climbing trees in the woodlands. It was a lesson that sunk in.
A little while later, it was time to go. The sun had brought a community of men, women and their kids together.
See you next week.
Follow me @tundunadeyemo